Day of Prayer

Yesterday I was mostly out of touch with email and the internet and in touch with my Lord (a very good trade off I think you would agree).

Every other month I go on a all day prayer and fasting retreat from 7-3pm. at the Ignatius House in Atlanta. About 15 men from around the area, from different churches gather together for a time of prayer and meeting with the Lord. We gather for some time together to share our lives with each other, but most of the time is alone, using the facilities and beautiful property of the Ignatius House.

I wanted to share some reflections and some ways that the Lord spoke to me during that time.

We started our time with a devotional from the facilitator Len Sykes, and we talked about faith, and Len read from Hebrews 11.

As I took some time to reflect upon faith and trust, I began to think about my challenges of faith. Everyday there are new challenges to trust God, and it is hard. There are faith and trust challenges in my ministry, in my personal life, and with my family and wife. Why is it so difficult to trust God amidst these challenges and struggles. I wanted to get to the nub of these issues and peal the issue back like a skin of an onion.

What I discovered was this... I don't trust God because I desire control, I desire control because I fear, I fear because I am not captured and surrendered to God's grace and love.

I don't trust because I desire control. I want to be in the drivers seat. I think that I know better. My way is best.

I desire control because I fear. I fear the disapproval of man. I fear failure. I fear living in obscurity. I fear being misunderstood.

I fear because I am not captured and surrendered to God's grace and love. Therefore I took a long time simmering and marinating in God's Word and His love and grace for me. (1 John 4:18 - Perfect love casts out fear)

Psalm 23 - His presence is with me, having Jesus is all I need
Psalm 91 - He is a protector, a refuge, a fortress. His love is trustworthy, I can count on it.
Psalm 103 - His love doesn't fail - it's everything I expect and much, much more.
Hosea 11:1-4 - His love is there for me, even if I don't notice it.
Matthew 10:29-31 - He thinks about me, God knows me better than I know myself. I have value and worth to Him.
Romans 8:31-39 - God gave me His Son, the GREATEST gift and sacrifice, why should I think that He would withhold any good gift from me.

The source of my lack of trust and faith is that I haven't fully surrendered to God's love. I pray that my heart would be fully captured by God's wonderful grace and love, and that I would live out of His love today in every area of my life. - Amen